zines

photos via: "vivi" & "glamourous" magazines (nov.2010)

so i got some fashion magazines for the sis and was flipping through it. sometimes japanese fashion is awesome and sometimes you're like o___O like the whole gyaru look (will post photos of that later) and the fur obsession at the moment (you can get fur tails for your phone/bag, furry leg warmers, furry shoes, in addition to regular fur clothing). i also thought the description for these makeup looks were amusing-- dehydrated tomato colored lips anyone?

life: words of wisdom

fuckyeahamazing.com

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."

- Soren Kierkegaard

p.s. it got trench coat wearing cold all of a sudden here. time to bust out the kotatsu ♥
p.p.s. start talking to the people around you about things that matter. you'll start to appreciate the strong, intelligent, amazing beings they are.

Comparisons

Self: Pre-JET (ie approximately 1.25 years ago) // NOW

22 years of singlehood // one relationship behind me

sexually nonexistent // sexuality exists

sweats, riggers shorts // dresses, work appropriate clothing

leggings // stockings

lenka, meiko, justin nozuka // bon iver, the national, tegan&sara, sufjan stevens

nonexistent guitar playing skills // 4 songs crappily played

suite life // living on my own

hawaii, l.a. // fukuoka

french kissing = saliva/ew/why? // french kissing = yes please!

self-concept: nerdy/academically-focused // self-concept: hot ^_^, people-focused

future-focused // living in the now

obsessed with to do lists // obsessed with to do lists

tasia, t-Asia (stripper name), tash // tasia, t-bird, t-bag, t-swizzle

driving // walking, training everywhere

undecided, unknown black hole future // same

uncomfortable, awkward around guys // more comfortable around guys who embrace their awkwardness & thus mine

green tea snob // all-tea lover (with a scandalous latte/cappuccino affair on the side)

2 am? still early! // 10 pm? beddy-bye time. Obaachan-status.

no non-american friends // australian, new zealander, european, south african, singaporean, all over! friends.

hating on ^______^ // using o____O all the time. in other words....

not fob // FOB

scarf fetish // scarf, postcard, tea&coffee (+ paraphernalia) fetish, with dark chocolate & peanut butter fetishes developing

aversion to being concise // aversion to being concise (as witnessed in the above point)

pretty well-versed in the english language // non-ironically misspelling words; notably: confuzed & sight/site. le sigh.

sticking to a budget // budget???

"friends" of convenience // true friends, social support

crap japanese // still crap, but slowly improving, japanese

naive // life lessons

"I just want some japanese food!" // "Where's all the good western/non-japanese food up in this heezy???"

naked? // NAKED! (esp. nudie apartment dance parties for one!)

skype -____- // skype ^____^

freak! // WHAT THE FUCK?!

linguistically understanding most of my surroundings // illiteracy, constant state of (blissful?) ignorance

normal glasses //hipster glasses

related conversation excerpt:
dad: go buy new glasses when you're in korea.
me: i already have glasses & an extra pair. i don't need new ones.
dad: no, tasia. not the weird ones. [reference to hipster glasses].
oh dad :)

inspiring/interesting quotations

(fuckyeahamazing.blogspot.com)

In the past week, I've stumbled upon some quotations that have resonated with me so I thought I'd share them here.

Mark Twain (I now want to read more of his works...wiki him. He's pretty cool in terms of impact on American Literature and his views in general.)

"I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolt."

"There are many humorous things in this world; among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowliness, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marilyn Monroe

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

cat cafe

this weekend, i defied my dislike of animals and went to a cat cafe so that cat-loving b can live vicariously through my experiences. you basically go in and are required to buy a drink or meal of some sort. then proceed to play with feline friends for an hour (or more). slightly (okay, very) unsanitary and wouldn't pass health codes in non-Japan but....they're meccha kawaii and that's all that matters right?

bed>futon

right...just disregard the mess going on to the right. ~_~ i live in filth.

my new bed is huge and amazing and comfy and above the floor and just the best! the first night, i felt weird being so high up and also lonely because it was just me in this HUGE SPACE. i literally had to snuggle with my Rilakkuma doll (picture to come because he's just so adorable) to keep me company. spoon/cuddle with me in my new bed? you know you want to.

happy price

things on sale here are sometimes marked with the sign "Happy Price". i like this. they DO make me happy!

gestalt prayer

unrelated photo via silk

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

letters

so i came back to my desk the other day to find 2 letters from a student in my English Club.

it's kind of small, but the first is a letter to her pen pal in Hawaii & the second is one inviting me to see her paintings at the prefectural art museum. is she not the sweetest?

introspection of late

i've been thinking about a lot of things lately. here is a peek into my brain.

love: is there really a moment in a relationship when you have an epiphany and are like OMFG I LOVE YOU? initially i thought this, but as my idealizations became more realistic, i began to think that it's more of an ebb/flow (ie- sometimes you're really into your partner and sometimes you're not but underneath everything there's this deep connection/comfortableness/trust/caring and THAT is love). now, i'm not really sure but am still leaning towards the latter.

is it that you can click with someone so well, be attracted to him/her, and just feel RIGHT together but that not be enough? i suppose so, just hadn't thought of it.

it's SO EASY to be blinded in a relationship and do things/become the type of person you told yourself you wouldn't. pet peeves regarding couples: being overly coupley in public, becoming too clingy/not having your own lives, becoming exclusive/spending all your time together, (on the same note) limiting time with other friends to spend time with your partner, etcetc. and yes, i fell into doing all of these. how did that happen?

why are all of the songs i listen to slow & predominantly about love either lost or lusted after?

i didn't realize one could ever feel such deep emotional pain. but also underestimated the power of social support/showers/tea/sleep/nudie dance parties for one in my apt. EMPOWERMENT.

i don't regret anything that's happened and am also excited to relearn/rediscover how to be ME/whole/content with that, expand my support network/reconnect with people, and make the most out of my time in Japan.

boyfriends are great for extra warmth in the winter time (esp. when you don't have central heating) and for motivating you to cook when you live alone. but not necessary. kind of like colorful sprinkles on birthday cakes.

why is it so easy to think irrationally and engage in self-torture?

time heals and whatever but it seriously needs to hurry the eff up and improve the effectiveness of its healing properties.

note to self: post-breakup people just want to be distracted. when comforting someone, just keep blabbing about whatever the hell you want b/c it's nice to not be consumed with your own overanalytical thoughts.

stop thinking about the what ifs and whys because sometimes there is no concrete, satisfactory answer. and it'll just consume you and drive you insane. so don't do that.

when life gives you lemons, make lemon bars. literally. they're delicious and smell good and will make you smile.

love

this is kind of how i feel right now. curled up but learning to grow into myself again. [fuckyeahamazing.com]

...the first of a (potential) series of more serious, introspective posts.

i am reposting this from a friend's blog. an excerpt from bell hook's "all about love"

To begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility. We are often taught we have no control over our "feelings." Yet most of us accept that we choose our actions, that intention and will inform what we do. We also accept that our actions have consequences...If we were constantly remembering that love is as love does, we would not use the word in a manner that devalues and degrades its meaning. When we are loving we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment, and trust.

i think i may have been in love and didn't even realize it/was too scared to acknowledge it.

life lessons are a pain in the ass.